creativity and it's ENEMY: guilt

creativity is such a funny thing.
something you just have no control over. there is nothing worse than a ‘creative’ to-do list…
for me it usually just comes down to the wire and the creativity kicks in at the last possible minute. i have GOT to figure out how to manage it better… but how?

did have a wonderful creative weekend… kara and janet came into town to work on education planning for next year. we brainstormed and designed classes for consumer shows, independant events, ckus and on-line projects… we had a BLAST. we cruised around to different supply stores (non-scrapbooking) to find materials and possibilities to think outside the box. awesome stuff emerged.. i am excited. usually as i focus on just one thing… i generate tons of ideas but i can’t FOCUS on more than one thing…and it’s usually NOT the thing that i am SUPPOSED to be focusing on.

but now.. it’s monday morning… and i am picking up the pieces of everything that i have dropped the ball on to be creative all weekend… and i feel so OUT OF CONTROL! dang. i have been dragging on laundry… just went to change the laundry this morning and i am thinking what was in the washer had been there since sat. morning… so it totally smelled all moldy. ***GROSS*** i just can’t keep up!
and then it sets in… the ultimate CRUSHER of all things creative: GUILT. so much is happening this week. colton is being baptized, cory is student of the week and my folks are coming to town. my to-do list this morning is UGLY.
deep breath… and ask myself… why the heck am i blogging??????????????????????
chuckle.

time to get serious

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Category: Inspiration

About the Author : Heidi Swapp

21 Comments

  1. jessica 14 November, 2005 at 10:17 am - Reply

    i feel you heidi – we ALL go through it daily – here’s a quote to think about:
    “if people never did silly things nothing intelligent would ever get done” –
    (steve prefontaine)
    ignore the guilt – do what you can do – and “live while you live”….

  2. JennyRebecca 14 November, 2005 at 10:21 am - Reply

    It’s so hard to find balance! I’m all about “housey” stuff right now and I dearly miss having any creative time. Can’t seem to figure out how to fit both in at the same time…
    Don’t know if I’ve posted before – nice to meet you, my name’s Jenny! :O)

  3. Courtney 14 November, 2005 at 10:40 am - Reply

    oh how I can relate but I am sure your level of “to do” and “behindness” {cause I make up words:)} are so above me! I say all the time to myself…
    “deep breath, one thing at a time”

  4. Shannon Snyder 14 November, 2005 at 11:44 am - Reply

    Guilt…that’s a big one I think ALL moms suffer from, especially after finding smelly laundry in the washer…happens to me weekly :).

  5. Talia 14 November, 2005 at 12:44 pm - Reply

    I’m sure I’m not nearly as busy as you, but I can relate….and doesn’t it seem like creativity hits at the most INCONVENIENT times?? Good luck with your to-do list!!

  6. Ngaire Bartlam 14 November, 2005 at 1:57 pm - Reply

    SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO with you darlin, on the to do list.I have a similar one here. and the laundry! so it isnt just ME who does that?? good to know! 🙂
    hugs and love baby,
    Ngai
    xxx

  7. Colleen (aka Chi-girl and Pea-ticular) 14 November, 2005 at 6:14 pm - Reply

    Really feel for you, so here’s my recommendation: HIRE SOMEONE to clean your house and do the laundry. No way can you do it all espec. w/company coming to town, etc. You deserve it (we all do!). My housekeeper doesn’t come as often as I’d like, but it sure is great to have the whole house cleaned in one day – including laundry (huge sign/smile).

  8. Robyn 14 November, 2005 at 7:56 pm - Reply

    i often get the out-of-control scattered thing too. Someone just told me a little tip that I’m gonna try. When you get the omigosh-it’s-all-too-much-to-do-so-i’m-gonna-do-nothing feeling, just stop, pick one (non scrap thing) to organize. Someting easy, non-earth shattering, LOL. Your wallet, your sock drawer, think simple, organize the heck out of it, to give you back that feeling of control. Sit back and admire it, drink a coffee, tea, whatever, and just relish the fact that your drawer/wallet/whatever looks so darn beautiful. Worth a try!
    I also make tons of lists to keep it all on track, which would work out great if i’d only use one notebook….still a work in progress, LOL 🙂

  9. sarah h. 14 November, 2005 at 8:23 pm - Reply

    “Why am i blogging???”
    Hee Hee! So we can have something to read as we avoid all the crap we have to do!!!!!

  10. sarah goodman 14 November, 2005 at 11:30 pm - Reply

    hey heidi,
    happy to find your blog…good luck this week and congrats on colton’s baptism…we just had quinn’s a couple months ago! so special! have a SUPER week…and have fun with the laundry…hee hee :0)
    sarah goodman

  11. Lindsay Teague 15 November, 2005 at 8:10 am - Reply

    unfortunately, i can TOTALLY relate to all of the above including rank laundry in the washer…now, get to work before creativity followed by guilt hits you again! *wink*
    Lindsay

  12. Sharon 15 November, 2005 at 8:24 am - Reply

    i once thought i was the only person who left washing in the machine. i was so relieved to hear a while back that a friend’s record for re-washing was 3 times before it hit the line!
    i’m forever beating myself up but now i’ve decided i’m only doing the washing once a week – like they used to in the olden days!!!
    p.s. love your stuff heidi and we’re all glad you like creating more than washing!!!
    love sharon (perth, western australia)

  13. Arika 15 November, 2005 at 9:34 am - Reply

    So often I find myself struggling to balance my creative life with my “real” life…you know, the one with a hyperactive toddler, dirty dishes, and a birthday gift that needs to be mailed out. I def. find that I create better when I don’t have the guilt hanging over me, so I try to do “responsible” stuff first…
    but other times, I realize that if I wait for the perfect time then I’ll never create a thing. And being an artist makes me a better wife, mom, friend, etc…
    Yup, a delicate balance for sure!

  14. Jana 15 November, 2005 at 12:44 pm - Reply

    Blogging is our therapy and we need each other this way. We need to know we’re not alone and not the only one who experiences what we do. I know you’re a busy lady but I’m oh-so-glad that you DO take time to blog!!

  15. Heather 15 November, 2005 at 7:06 pm - Reply

    This too shall pass!

  16. May 15 November, 2005 at 8:24 pm - Reply

    Thanks for the giggle this evening. I hear you on all counts… esp. the smelly laundry!
    Glad to hear you had a creative weekend! Full moon or something… I too was on creative fire! =)

  17. Leeann 16 November, 2005 at 12:56 pm - Reply

    I feel your pain!
    I finally broke down and hired a Housekeeper. It’s worth every penny. I was trying to work a job as a RN at the clinic and I own a Scrapbook Store. I finally had a break down and delegated some of my jobs out. I’m still crazy busy but atleast my house is clean.

  18. Thena Smith 16 November, 2005 at 1:23 pm - Reply

    I’m listening to you right now on World Talk Radio! Love hearing about your start in the hobby and the business!
    Thena

  19. Ally 17 November, 2005 at 9:18 am - Reply

    “i am thinking what was in the washer had been there since sat. morning… so it totally smelled all moldy. ***GROSS*** i just can’t keep up!”
    Oh gosh! I’m so glad to know that it happens to someone else too! LOL I do that ALL the time. It’s a wonder that my water bill isn’t double what it is since I end up re-doing half the loads I wash for that very reason! Everything will work out great and all will be right with the world once more! Don’t let the guilt get a good girl down now! 😉
    Love ya!
    Ally

  20. Wanda E. Santiago 17 November, 2005 at 12:27 pm - Reply

    I hear ya I hear ya!! Some hugs your way and may you find the balance you need to be as creative as you can be. You know Hubby could of put those clothes in the Dryer too. Hugs Wanda

  21. Nita 19 November, 2005 at 9:29 pm - Reply

    Girl, I was just talking about you to a friend of mine the other day, and when she came across your blog, she told me I had to see it! (She knows I have loved your stuff for years now!!) I admit, I have been having some really frustrating days ~ clothes are piling up, two sick little girls, no free time, and the absolute chaos of everyday life. It was so nice to know that even a person like you, who always “seems so put together”, is just like me.
    For instance, last night I sat down at the computer. I had just made a batch of magic bars, and I was eating them and replying to your blog. It was around 11:30 pm, and the kids were still up and running around. Needless to say, I went to put the girls to bed, and I sat back down at the computer to finish (I had about 2-3 sentences left). While I was occupied, my husband sat down at the computer, did who knows what, and erased the whole thing. Forget it.. Then, I stayed up extremely late, organizing things for a garage sale this morning ~ not to mention that I am now getting sick myself.
    RE: your creative weekend ~ Enjoy!! Don’t feel guilty about a thing. Everything will be waiting for you when you get home. Take 2 days a week at the most to play “catch up” around the house. And if you don’t get done, oh well! We all need our creative time, and I SO desperately need time now!! Make sure to eat plenty of chocolate ~ chocolate fixes everything 🙂 !And, lastly, breathe…
    Florida weather is awesome! It was in the mid-70’s today. I was wearing a T-shirt & a pair of shorts today. My flowers are blooming, and there is a nice breeze. I actually took my girls to the beach last week to attempt to take Christmas pictures, as I wanted something unconventional for the season ~ it never gets cold enough here! Alas, it was my 1-year-old’s first time at the beach, and she cried whenever I put her down. So, I got “first time at the beach” pictures, & she’s crying in EVERY one!
    Remember, SMILE & LAUGH…things could be so much worse!
    N
    P.S. Don’t you just love the book?

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